STUPID MARIO BROTHERS – EPISODE TWO TRANSCRIPTEdit
[Voice Over, accompanied by the Super Mario Brothers Theme.]
Mario: Episode Two!
[Cut to the mailbox.]
Luigi: Is it another letter from-a Bowser?
Mario: [Sighing] Yes.
[Mario opens up the letter and hands the envelope to Luigi, who takes it. Then Mario begins to read Bowser's letter. Dreary music starts up. Gibberish voice over ("Bra bra bra!") by Bowser, accompanied by subtitles.]
Bowser: Hey guys, uh.... you didn't respond to my last letter... uh, getting kind of bored here... the toads aren't doing anything.... hoping to see you guys soon... uh, please come back... Peace Out.
Luigi: What does he want-a this time?
Mario: He's getting bored again. Seems like without us, he's got nothing to do! That lousy no-good jerk! Can't he find something better to do than make those levels throughout the castle and try to have us complete them?
Luigi: Not really. But Mario, Peach is-a still kidnapped! Aren't we going to save her?
Mario: Hmmmmm... nah!
Luigi: [Sing-song voice] Okie day.
Mario: Hey, Luigi! Let's-a go play some Wii Tennis!
Luigi: All right!
Mario: I win! Ha ha! Screw you, Luigi! I am the winner!
Luigi: Mario, you beat me again!
Mario: Well, Luigi, some were born to play Wii Tennis, others had Wii Tennis thrust upon them! And others just flat out suck! Like you!
Luigi: What?! I don't have to sit here and listen to this!
[Luigi gets up from the couch and angrily points at Mario.]
Luigi: You take that-a back!
Mario: What?! Never!
Luigi: Fine then! If that is how you want to play, then I'm a-leaving! HMPH!
[Luigi storms off. However, Mario is apparently not bothered by this.]
Mario: Well, fine! Go! I don't need you anyway! The name of the game is Super Mario! Super MARIO! Who are you, Luigi?! Who are you?!
[Luigi is heading out the door as he opens it.]
Mario: WHO, ARE, YOOOOU?!
[Luigi leaves and closes the door shut.]
Mario: Hmph! The only game he ever did on his own was Luigi's Mansion! And that sucked Goombas!
[Cut to Luigi.]
Luigi: Cocky, egotistical, conceded son of a Goomba! That no-good, ungrateful moron has always taken me for granted! There's no Super Mario BROTHERS without Luigi! He thinks he's a big superstar!
Wario: Ah, Luigi! I see Mario isn't here to protect you this time! It'll make taking you back to the Mushroom Kingdom all the easier! Heh heh! Weh heh heh heh! Weh...
Luigi: You know what? That's-a fine with me! I'm-a sick and tired of that jerk taking all the glory for himself! I'm-a coming with you!
Wario: Well, that was easy! One down, one to go! Heh heh heh, heh heh! Weh heh! [quickly] Let's go.
[Cut back to Mario, now having regrets about his comments. "Fallen Angel" by Jersey Boys plays.]
You're home again, I'm glad you kept the key
Been waiting here, it seems a million years to me
But hush now I know you're all cried out
It's all right inside, I've had no doubt
About your love for me
I can see behind the tears
I'm certain of the way we feel
And given time the hurt will heal You're home again so won't you close the door
Mario (Overlapping with the music): This was before we shaved!
Stay here with me and
We'll forget what's gone before
Just hold me tight
Our love is gonna make it right
Put shadows way beyond recall
The ghost has almost gone
[Mario starts to cry.]
Fallen angel, I'll forgive you anything
You can't help the things you do
Now something's gotten hold of you
[Music fades out.]
Mario: Oh. Well, things sure are a lot more fun, now that I don't have that big dope following me around all the time. Yup. It sure is great to be on my own. [crying] No responsibilities, just a free man. Ahh, goombas.
Narrator: Will Mario and Luigi ever reunite? Will Wario ever get that money Bowser promised him? Will the Safeway manager ever let RMA Studios film in the store? And will my wife ever stop looking at other men? Find out next time on the amazing adventures of Stupid Mario Brothers!
[Mario becomes aware of the narrator's presence and rudely flips him off. Cut to a black screen with the URL of the Richalvarez channel. Short comedic cue plays.]