STUPID MARIO BROTHERS – EPISODE FIVE TRANSCRIPTEdit
'[Voice Over, accompanied by the title screen music from Super Mario 64]
Mario: Episode 5! Ah, I think. Ooh.
[Black screen with the words "Presviously (sic) on Stupid Mario Brothers"]
Narrator: Previously, on Stupid Mario Brothers. [Curiously, it is a different narrator, voiced by Chris Muller].
[A montage of clips from the previous episode begins]
Wario: Wah?! A letter for me?
Wario: Allow me to introduce my new partner, Waluigi!
Waluigi: I'm going to make-a you wish you never left the Mushroom Kingdom.
Mario: As we already told Wario, we are not going back!
Waluigi: It's time for you to face us.
Mario: Ready Luigi?
Luigi: Let's-a do this! [The four take their fighting stances once again]
[Another black screen, with the words "And Now Episode 5 Of Stupid Mario Brothers"]
Narrator: And now, Episode 5 of Battlestar Galactica. Uh, uh I mean Stupid Mario Brothers.
[Mario, Luigi, Wario, and Waluigi begin fighting. Each blow accompanied by 8-bit era Mario sound effects, punches and kicks are volleyed before Luigi snatches Waluigi's cap. Waluigi retaliates by jumping on Luigi's back and pounding him in the head repeatedly. Elsewhere, Mario and Wario are at a standoff. After a slow motion buildup, the two engage dramatically in slap combat. In a wideshot, the four brawl again. Mario blocks several of Wario's attacks and scores several punches at Wario's crotch. Wario writhes in agony as Mario dances rather stupidly in victory. Luigi punches at, but misses Waluigi, who delivers in turn a slap to Luigi's face.]
Waluigi: A buttstomp! [Waluigi ground pounds Luigi, immobilizing him]
[Luigi shrieks in agony as Waluigi smirks to himself]
Luigi: Help-a me, help-a me!
[Mario pushes away Waluigi and tornadoes him into submission. Luigi, back on his feet, launches himself as a Green Missile towards Wario, impacting him in the chest. Wario pulls off one of his right glove and slaps Luigi with it. In another wideshot cutaway, Luigi is suddenly fighting Waluigi again, while Mario squares off with Wario, knocking his foe to the ground. Nodding in agreement with Mario, Luigi piggybanks on Mario's back, and the two charge towards the Wario Bros., knocking both to the ground in quick succession. Wario crawls toward his fallen partner.]
Wario: Walugi, it's time-a to kick some ass! [The two jump back on their feet and run towards Mario and Lugi.]
[Mario is about to connect a punch with Wario, but Wario grabs Mario's arm before he can and then punches Mario in the face several times before headbutting him. Both are pained from the attack.]
Wario: Ooh... Weheh-oh-wehweh...
Mario: Mamma mia! [Mario tornadoes off while Wario rests his hand on his agonized head.]
[Luigi and Waluigi take off their caps and use them as crude bludgeoning weapons. Mario and Wario jump around in a circle, trying to free themselves from a tangled hold. Waluigi punches out Luigi and nods in amusement. Luigi struggles back to Mario.]
Mario: It's time to-a get serious, Luigi.
Luigi: Let's kick some ass! [Both direct their attention to Wario.]
Luigi: Ooh, 'bout time already!
[There is a loud, whooshing, pulsating sound. With his hands, Mario produces a Fireball, and aims it at Wario, where upon it explodes on impact. Waluigi walks over to Wario, lying on the ground unconscious.]
Waluigi: You are too weak. I will take care of this one...
[Waluigi produces a Fireball of his own and launches it at Luigi, incapacitating him.]
Waluigi: How do you like them Fireballs?
Mario: Nobody hurts my brother like that and gets away with it!
[Mario creates a Fireball of gigantic proportions are downs Waluigi with it, winning the battle.]
Mario: We won Luigi, we are the winners!
[Mario and Luigi walk over to the fallen Wario and Waluigi.]
Mario: Like we-a said before, we are staying HERE!
Waluigi: You may have beaten us this time, but we'll be back, AND ready.
Luigi: Go on making-a threats. When you're ready, we'll kick your-a butts again.
Wario: So goodbye-a Mario stooges! Weheheheheh, heheh!
[Wario and Waluigi run off hastily, flailing their arms.]
Luigi: Do you really think they mean it, Mario?
Mario: Hmmm... I dunno. Want to go get a pizza?
Luigi: Okay! Mario: Alright!
[URL screen of the Richalvarez channel. Super Mario Bros. death sound effect plays]
[After the episode, a short blooper/bonus plays. Mario and the others dance to a Four Seasons song.
Mario: ♫Let's hang on, to what we got! Dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah! Got a lot-a love between us! Hang on, hang on, hang on, ...to what we got! Doo doo! Doo doo! Doo doo!♫